Do you have to be lean to dance with people? How does “not looking good” relate to fitness level? If you don’t know the difference, you are not going to learn the difference you’re supposed to. You can still be super skinny but you’ve got to be careful about how that makes you feel in order to avoid burnout and burnout’s bad outcomes.
To add salt to the wound, I know that some people in my circles have been so scared of “the body image” issue that they haven’t tried the fat loss thing, simply because they haven’t seen any evidence that it would make them feel good. And, to a degree, that’s true. If you are “fit” in some ways (i.e. you’re strong, confident, athletic, etc.), then it’s okay to want to eat more and take more exercise. But in the end, what you want is not necessarily the end result of “what you would want.” You may have your version of that or not – your version of what you would have if you had no anxiety is your version. And it’s something no one can measure because nobody has exactly the perfect health outcome in mind all the time.
When it comes to looking good, you cannot just turn to a few “body image experts” and say, “I’ll do what I feel good about!” – everyone has different preferences and tastes and what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. To some, skinny girls have the body they were born with, to some they don’t. To some, skinny women’s clothes are ugly or uncomfortable. Some prefer women to be fat. Some might not want to see a woman who seems really skinny to be fat.
I have heard “the solution” to all of these issues – fat people should lose a pound at a time. But here is the problem – losing is a very long process. It’s not like you could drop five pounds at a time, or have the weight at bay for an entire day. You need to do it slowly. To achieve any sort of success, you need to do it in a steady cycle (i.e. eating a healthy diet, weight maintenance, and then weight gain, which is how much you’re gaining when you continue to exercise). You need to find ways to do things that work, to avoid or eliminate things that don’t work, and to be cognizant of what isn’t working for you at any point in the journey (
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